12 Honest and Unflattering Headlines About Me As A Dad

  1. Local ‘Dad Blogger’ Who Writes Often Of Committment and Love Will Do Any Chore To Be In Different Room Then ‘Beloved Toddlers’
  2. Remarkably, 41 Year Old Man Honestly Believed Bathrooms Only Needed Cleaning Annually
  3. Kids Cry Inconsolably When Its Dads Turn To Put Them To Bed
  4. Depsite Assertion That Its Not A Problem, Local Dad Can’t Unclench Teeth So He Drinks 8th Coffee of the Day Through Straw
  5. Dad Repeatedly Responds ‘No’ To 4 Year Old’s Requests For Him To ‘Play with me?’
  6. Despite Near Constant Grumpiness Family Still Harbors Tender Feelings For Patriarch
  7. He May Say He Is a Man, But Fathers Skill Set Does Not Support Such a Claim
  8. Lacking Any Self Awareness, Dad Claims He Could Still Run with Guys In NBA
  9. Impressively, Dad Maintains Vanity Despite Having Developed Classic ‘Sitter’s Body’
  10. ‘Man of a Thousand Jokes’ Discovered to be Man of Merely 4 Jokes Told and Retold Thousands of Times. Two of Them are Puns.
  11. One Man’s Journey To Truly Alarming Personal Hygeine Habits
  12. Watching Television Constantly is One Family Tradition This Dad Intends to Pass On
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One thought on “12 Honest and Unflattering Headlines About Me As A Dad

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