election 2016 – developing dad

Enough Already with the Whole, ‘How do I talk to my kids..’ Nonsense.

If you are asking ‘how do I talk to my kids about the fact that Trump won?’ there’s a real problem.

Here’s the thing. If you believe that we elected a racist, sexist, misogynistic, unhinged maniac whose mere existence is capable of bringing untold abuse to minorities of all stripes, like I do, than you damn well better know how to talk to your kids about it. And yes, I said ‘WE’ elected. Because you know what, we are ALL Americans. Even those people you somehow forget when talking about how horrified everyone is at the thought of a President Trump. Also, start saying President Trump. Get used to it. Four years is not forever, but it’s not nothing.

Now also understand that the people, excluding the KKK and the various white supremacist groups, who elected Mt. Trump did not do so, uniformly and in lock step, for these vile traits. I know. I grew up in the area of the country, the beautiful area known as the Great Lakes Region to me, but as the ‘Rust Belt’ to so many who aren’t there. Fuck all of you, by the way. I don’t like that so many people I know and love from growing up felt the need to vote for this monster, but I understand why they did.

Let’s talk about that. Why? There is a fair bit of racially disgusting thought everywhere. It’s a real problem, just as real there as it is in cities and suburbs and rural areas the country over. But there’s a lot of kind, caring, loving and even socially aware, woke white folks there too and they voted for Mr. Trump. Can you sense my frustration? It comes not from any latent opinion changing of the other guy. He’s a straight monster in my opinion and the thought of him as commander in chief scares the life out of me. Nope. Still hate him, even if I still love so many of his voters. I disagree with them, yes, but I love them too. Nope, I’m mad at my own, left side of this country.

I’m mad because even now, when the election is over and our worst nightmare is true, we are taking the easy way out and calling our former base, working class Americans everything but what they see themselves as. Which is the forgotten backbone of a formerly great industrial economy.

Here’s what’s happening. It’s like Trump is in an iridescent dress and each side is seeing only one color. I see plain and clearly the monster, willing to put whole demographic catagories of humans, never mind the fact that the vast majority of them are fellow American’s, into the hungry lions mouth, caring not one iota for them because he thinks of them as some lower form of man then he. Seemingly seeing them as subhuman even, merely for the color of their skin or an accent that their children don’t share. I see a monster that is emboldening the voices of racial and nationalist hate all to serve his own acquisition of power and I’m disgusted.

You know who is on the other side of that monster, though? People. Struggling people. People who were raised in company towns where three quarters of the kids I grew up with came from homes that worked for the same company who could afford to operate there and promised a career long job with good benefits and an honest check that was not just above poverty level but rather a genuine article job that put you in the middle class. People who were made to believe that if they took the special classes those jobs would be there for them when it was time for them to have kids. People who now see those same giant buildings all their dads and many of their moms went into every day crumbling from the decay that comes from being abandoned and left to die as companies died and had to go other places where labor is cheap and human rights aren’t a thing. People who now struggle to paste together a valid income by stitching temporary job to part time gig to anything they can try to do for enough to make Christmas special for their kids they love. And you know what. Many of them love the brown and black kids, what few there may be, whose parents are there in the same boat, having no idea if what little opportunity that’s there now will be there tomorrow.

These folks, they don’t see only what we see. They see someone who came to them and at the very least said, I SEE YOU. You are not crazy. You really did get screwed and by forces beyond your control. He placed the blame where they placed it. He said yes, you got a raw deal and she(really he, but by extension) did this. Was it completely accurate? Who gives a shit. He was on TV every goddamn day telling them they were right to be angry. Then, he went where it didn’t need to go. He stoked anger into hatred and pointed it maniacally at OTHER hard working people struggling to get by. It was truly messed up, yes. But it was done by then. He got it. He saw the America that is ignored, though it is still tens of millions of our daily lives. Communities and economies in despair. Heroin tearing through families and towns and regions. Whole generations of people being ignored no matter how hard it gets. No matter how cold it gets. No matter how much opportunity disappears.

So talk to your kids about the fact that anger can turn to hatred when people refuse to see or hear people who disagree with them. Tell them that a bad man won and we lost. Losing is a part of living in a democracy and you feeling entitled to winning merely because the other guy is vile isn’t gonna cut it. You want more love, go find angry people and listen to them. Find people that don’t look like you and sit with them and try to make friends with them. Tell them we all have to work to make the world a nicer place and we can’t pretend other people struggling has no effect on us. It’s not an option to think that way anymore. Tell them to start thinking now about the next great invention they can think of because who knows what spark of genius will create a new industry and economy that can raise the water so all of us can float higher.

Just don’t tell them you don’t know what to say. That’s bullshit.

To Exercise Virtue

‘Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without it you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.’ -Maya Angelou

I’m thinking a lot about this quote and the idea it contains today.

Last night we elected a man to lead our country who I find to be dangerous. And I’m a white, middle class male. I can’t imagine the fear that my darker skinned brothers and sisters are feeling right now. I identify with them and I agree with them and I vote with them, but I am disciplined in acknowledging always that I am not in their shoes. I cannot have their perspective, even if I empathize with it. I am not the father of little girls nor am I a woman. I’m a native English speaking American and don’t have to fear being rounded up. I advocate for the disabled, both professionally and personally and I’m not them, watching a man openly mock an actual person with a disability, bullying him while doing his job from the podium with flags flying and crowds cheering and guffawing. I’m an advocate, but I’m protected.

I’m from the disaffected, largely white area of the country that would appear to have given the Presidency to Donald Trump. I know that the people that voted for him see something other than a dangerous, white supremacist, misogynistic monster. From my angle I’m afraid that that thing they saw allowed them to think they were supporting someone of virtue. Someone who would prioritize them without hurting others. I fear that they similarly can’t see what this feels like to fellow, hard working Americans with skin darker than theirs. Or the hard working immigrant families who’ve sacrificed whole lives, whole histories and all social standing to come to the place where hope lived only to find it lead by a man threatening to deport, insisting on building a wall and enthusiastically able to belittle and dismiss the sacrifice of families who’ve lost loved ones in defense of our highest ideals.

I don’t have any idea what I can do but stand up and try to find a sliver of light in the dark where I can try to send love through. It’s hard to listen when you are afraid. I am afraid. But it’s incredibly important to listen. I will try. I’m pretty sure I’ll fail a lot of the time, but i will keep trying.

What I do see is there is a lot of anger. There is a lot of fear. The air has been thick with it for years. My instincts in this moment are awful. I want to scream. I want to yell and lash out and blanket the land in judgment. It would feel good to do that. The fights that would ensue would make me feel like I was doing something. But I’d be working against the solutions we need. The fact is that this is a time that demands virtue. You can’t defeat the dark without light. You can’t address fear with fear. Anger will not go away with louder anger.

Patience. Love. Understanding. Compassion. Empathy.

These are the virtues we are lacking. There are real world problems that require real world answers. Yes. But if we can’t hear each other, if we can’t understand and empathize with the real fears than we can’t even begin the difficult conversations we need to have. We can’t ever learn to understand why something so confounding, how something so terrifying ever could have happened. I’m scared, I truly am. For me to overcome it’s going to take courage. It’s going to take courage to be patient. To listen. To try to reseed humanity, whatever tiny little portion of it I can effect with love.

There’s work to do. We must shine light into darkness. We must stay curious. We must seek out hate and counter it with love. We must find fear and meet it with empathy. We must meet anger head on and do whatever we can to show people compassion and love.

We must have courage and exercise our virtues. This is a time for our better angels to reveal themselves.

Trump’s Charities

There’s a lot of misinformation being spread by losers about me. It’s like people think that because they say something that makes it true. Things like, ‘he’s a bigot’ or ‘he’s sexist’ or ‘he’s unaware of the issues facing America’. These could not be further from the truth. The reality is that I’m exactly what America, at least a sizable chunk of it already wants.
But the strategists have weaseled there way in to this campaign and I’m kicking them out. Get this. They tell me I have to change my tone. My tone. You know the tone that has made me richer than they could ever dream to be and has me leading in every national poll only to grow that lead whenever the media gets its panties in a bunch over me telling it like it is in order to ‘Make America Great Again’. Yep. That’s what these unemployed losers tell me as they come, hat in hand looking for a job. Time for me to change, is that it.
Pound sand. That’s what I say. I hear there’s some Mexican’s gathering at Home Depot every morning to see if they can get a day’s labor from some of my hard working supporters, you know, Americans. Maybe they should take that there and see exactly how many people will hire them.
All you need to know about me and feeling others pain can be seen in my yearly donations to charitable organizations that are in line with my views. Read this list. I don’t need help, everyone. I’m rich. You’re poor. What the hell are you gonna teach me.
1. Don’t Feed the Foxes – There’s a problem in this country with our relationship to food and not enough people realize that it’s the models, as always, that guide us. We are eating ourselves sick and I believe in taking care of each other. To that end models can be the solution. But too many of them don’t have the self-control or discipline to refrain from eating. The good people at DFF have been helping young women find strength through repeated viewing of striking physical beauty brought by discipline and the self love needed to deny oneself of the basic necessities of life. You know, for the greater good.
2. CEODF (the CEO Defense Fund) – People always say it’s so awful to see bad things happen to good people. I agree. Thankfully there’s a proven way to find the good people. They are the one’s with more money. They have proven themselves worthy and bare the burden of carrying the ailing ‘American dream’ through all the challenges we face in making America Great Again. The liberal media’s out telling everyone that profiting from work is bad when it comes to the ceaselessly wealthy. But we know better and these guys, they just deserve a break. I’ve spent countless nights comforting dear friends in some of the finest restaurants in the world as they’ve cried into their gilded chalices about the threat they face merely for having the audacity to take a vacation in Thailand and the tour they set up, unbeknownst to them, has them caught in a sting to stop ‘human trafficking’, whatever that is. Should these innocent men just trying to get a little hard earned R & R have to pay the price for these shady tour companies? Hell no. That’s my answer. Consider the CEODF this holiday season if you’re pro-family.
3. Keep America Pure – It’s actually embarrassing that organizations like KAP are even needed, but despite countless efforts to educate the public about the value of good walls there is still a very vocal minority in this country insisting we open up the American dream to all that wish to achieve it. A minority that would be even smaller if you didn’t count women or minorities themselves. It’s the AMERICAN dream, so lets not act like these leeches who claim to have no place to live or any protection from the forces that have torn apart their lives are entitled to all the benefits of citizenry that we are afforded by simple geography. Remember, the American dream, like real estate, is all about location, location, location.
4. World With Walls – The WWW is doing the good work of educating America about the endless benefits of walling off our borders. I mean seriously. It’s 2015. Who the hell is going to be stopped by a wall. You think I believe that nonsense? I don’t. No one does. But we’ve already got a significant number of dummies ready to vote me in to do the job. That spells kickbacks. Huge kickbacks. Huge. Watch. My numbers will go up when this goes public. It’s crazy how easy this is.
5. PCBS – This organization is doing the important work of publicly being offended by anyone that takes offense to the frank and honest discussion of those that made this country great. Experienced males of northern european descent. We are a dying but proud breed.
Please consider joining me in supporting these GREAT American organizations working with me to Make America Great again.
Take that talking heads. I’m bulletproof and don’t need you. Also, I don’t care if I win. Frankly, I’d have to take an ENORMOUS pay cut, so really, your services aren’t needed. I’ve already won.